Two Biggest Problems in Marriage

Two Biggest Problems in Marriage

By Mark Broyles


Field Marshall Montgomery speaking to a group of soldiers said, “Gentlemen don’t even think about getting married until you have mastered the art of warfare.

Surely that is not what marriage is intended to be. If it isa constant battle we must ask, why? All too often we see the evidence that marriages are failing.

Percentage of married people who reach their 5th anniversary (82%), 10th (65%), 15th (52%), 25th (33%), 35th (20%), 50th (5%).

In a recent survey of 18-24 year-olds, 40% said that marriage is irrelevant. This is not based on marriage as God designed it but rather on society’s inability to follow God’s plan.

The first major problem is IGNORANCE.

Think of a hobby or sport that you are very involved in.

What are two or three things that are essential or very helpful that other people (especially those not heavily involved) may not know? How or why do you know that?

How do you make a marriage work? Maybe a better question would be - how do you work to make a marriage? As with any worthwhile endeavor work is the factor that is most vital to success. However, in marriage we often expect success with very little effort.

Many times, troubles result purely from ignorance. It is not that a husband or wife wants to bring hurt or harm on purpose, they just didn’t know that it meant so much to their spouse for them to do or not to do a certain thing.

A long time ago God spoke through His prophet saying, “My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge. Because you have rejected knowledge I also will reject you...” Hosea 4:6

How much effort are you willing to put into learning & applying the things that would make me a better spouse? Although our ignorance is often our downfall, it is not generally the largest problem we face in our marriage. We often know what to do and still do not do it.

That is not Ignorance—that is Foolishness! What would cause such foolishness in our marriage? The same thing that causes foolishness in any area of our lives...Now, not everyone has this problem to the same degree, yet everyone faces it–for it is the basis of almost every sin.

“Do not love the world or the things of the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world–the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes and the pride of life–is not of the Father but is of the world. And the world is passing away, and the lust of it; but he who does the will of God abides forever.” (1 John 2:15-17)

The second major problem is SELFISHNESS

As a matter of fact, selfishness is the greatest single enemy of a happy marriage. It is the root of all other sins. When I am at the center of my world I am out of place and my world is out of balance. How can you overcome selfishness in marriage (or for that matter in any relationship)?

The antidote to selfishness is service!

Serve God by serving your spouse. The easiest way to get our mind off of ourselves is to focus on someone else. Esteeming others more highly than ourselves. Do we live to serve as Christ did?

  • Practice The Death Principle - Galatians 2:20;
  • Make The Right Choice - Matthew 6:24;
  • Go Imitate the Lord - John 13:13-17

“Exceptional spouses do not sit around waiting for an invitation to serve. They make themselves aware of the jobs that need to be done and they seek out opportunities to do them–eagerly and cheerfully.” - Gregory Popcak – The Exceptional Seven Percent